外国上班族是什么样的?同为打工人，不论是国内还是国外，各有各的酸楚。
01.
“你心甘情愿从了劫匪！”
I work for a family-owned check cashing company. Yesterday, I was robbed at gunpoint by three bandits. Today, the owners want to deduct the stolen cash from my paycheck. They say I willingly complied with the bandits' wishes.
我在一所家族自营的支票兑现公司上班。昨天，我遭到3个强盗持枪抢劫。今天，老板们要从我工资里扣掉被抢的钱 。他们说我是心甘情愿从了劫匪。
at gunpoint: 被枪指着
paycheck: 工资，薪水
bandit: 强盗，劫匪
comply with：照做，遵守
02.
“所以你想说什么？”
I was refused a raise by my VP. He said, "You're already making more money than I was at your age." I was 24. He was 46. It turns out that he spent his 20's touring around the state playing guitar in a garage band, barely making enough to pay for food and gasoline. When I pointed out that rather than playing guitar, I had spent my youth getting a college degree and working in a high-tech job, he replied, "What's your point?"
有一次，副总裁拒绝了我的加薪要求。他说：”我在你这个年纪时，赚得还没你现在多。“说这话时他46岁，我24岁。结果我发现，他二十多岁时在乐队当吉他手，全国巡演，收入刚过温饱线。当我指出与其把青春耗费在玩吉他上，我更愿意拿下大学文凭，从事高科技工作，他反问我：”所以你想说什么?“
it turns out: 结果发现
garage band: 车库乐队(车库：摇滚音乐的一种流派)
What's your point?：你想表达什么?(你想说什么?)
03.
职业道德教育翻车
My company recently showed a video during one of our monthly review meetings. The video talked about the importance of working together in a morally and ethically pure state. It expounded such virtues as optimism, hard work and honesty. It claimed that an honest management would cultivate honest employees. The movie was very uplifting and motivating. Just before the lights came on, the last message ran across the screen. It read "FOR DEMO PURPOSES ONLY -- ILLEGAL TO USE FOR TRAINING".
最近，我的公司在每月例会上放了段视频。这个视频讲了秉承纯粹职场道德的重要性，阐述了乐观、努力和诚实等品质，视频宣称，诚实正直的管理方式能够培养诚实正直的员工，总之就是很正能量很鸡血。就在灯亮起前，屏幕上滚动过一条字幕：”本片只能用于演示，用于培训是违法的。“
expound: 阐述，说明
uplifting/motivating: 振奋人心的
claim: 宣称
cultivate: 培养，陶冶
04.
“女的多矛盾多”
I once got into a disagreement with another female coworker, and when my boss called us both in, he said, "I actually just listened to a podcast about how conflict is a common thing when you have multiple female employees working in the same office, so I’m prepared to handle this."
有一次我和一位女同事意见不合，老板把我俩叫过去，说：”我刚刚还听了个播客，就是在讲办公室里女的多，矛盾就多，得亏我有备而来。“
05.
进了急救室，老板却要你...
“I emailed my boss, notifying them I was in the emergency room and wouldn’t be able to come into work for what I thought was an obvious reason. My boss replied, asking me what was on my to-do list for the day and if I could send them the projects I was working on. I begrudgingly complied. They followed up, asking for more information with additional questions—all while I was in the ER.”
我给我的老板发邮件，告知他们我被送进了急救室，显然，不能去上班了。老板回了，问我当天有什么待办事项，能不能把我手头上的项目发他们。我不情愿地照做了。他们持续跟进，又问了一堆别的问题——而当时我已经进了急救室。
notify: 通知，告知
to-do list: 待办事项清单
begrudgingly: 不情愿地，吝啬地
follow up: 跟进
06.
”教你们什么叫强硬手腕！“
Our purchasing group was negotiating with a major paint supplier. Because of our volume of orders, we were in a strong position to negotiate. Finally, after two days of heated wrangling, we got the manufacturer to agree to a 35% discount.
当时，我们采购组在跟一个很大的涂料供应商谈判，因为订单量很大，我们掌握谈判的主动权。最终，经历了两天的拉锯，我们说服制造商接受65折的价格。
negotiate: 谈判
volume: 量，体积
wrangling: 争吵，争辩
supplier/manufacturer: 供应商/制造商
As we were about to sign the contract, the President, who had not been a party to the negotiations, walked in and tore it up. He said "I'm going to teach you purchasing people how to play hardball. That's the way you make it in this world." At that, he turned to the manufacturer's representatives and said "We'll give you 10% under your quoted price, take it or leave it. There are other suppliers out there." The supplier quickly leaped at the change. Turning to us as he left, the President said "I hope you learned something from that."
眼看就要签合同了，之前根本没参与谈判的总裁走了进来，当场撕毁了之前达成的协议。他说：”我来教你们这些负责采购的家伙，什么叫强硬手腕，这才是行走江湖的成功之道。“然后，他转身对供应商代表说：”我们只会付你们9成报价，不接受就走人。“供应商立马就接受了。总裁离场前，还转身对我们说：”希望刚才的事，给你们上了一课。“
party of a negotiation: 一场谈判中的参与者/利益相关者
tear(tore) up: 撕碎，撕毁
play hardball: 采取强硬手段
take or leave it: 要么接受，要么走人(谈判中表达不关心对方的反应，没有商量的余地)
07.
“我想只付一半”
Our company was running into financial difficulties and my Boss asked me to work for half of my salary. I said, "Well, I can work half the time for half the pay." He said "Oh no. What I mean is... you usually work 80 hours a week with 40 hours of unpaid overtime... now I want to pay for just half of the first 40."
公司财务困难，老板要求我只拿半薪。我说：”嗯，可以薪水降一半，工时也减一半。“他说：”不不不，我的意思是......你平时每周工作80个小时，其中有40个小时是无偿加班......现在我想只付前40小时的一半的薪水。“
run into difficulties: 遇到困难
unpaid: 无报酬的、无偿的
overtime: 加班时间
08.
“你最想变成什么动物？”
At an interview for a tech startup, they asked me "If you could be any animal, what would you be?"
I answered "Otter" because you know, fun, active, and so cute!
They really debated whether or not to hire me because of that answer because, and I quote, "We only hire predators, never prey." and they weren't sure how to quantify an Otter, because none of them had ever paid the least bit of attention to any sort of animal documentary or read biology or you know, visited a zoo recently.
去一家初创科技公司面试，他们问我：”如果你能变成任何动物，你会变成什么?“我回答”水獭“，因为水獭有趣、活泼、超可爱!就因为这个答案，他们权衡了很久要不要雇我，理由是他们“只雇用捕食者，不雇猎物“，但他们也拿不准水獭算猎物还是捕食者。因为最近他们没看过动物的纪录片、也没读过生物类的书，最近也没去过动物园。
start up: 创业公司
predator: 捕食者
prey: 猎物
documentary: 纪录片
09.
挂羊头卖狗肉的招聘
I went in to apply for an administrative assistant position and the guy kept asking me questions about liking kids and are my passports up to date...etc. I was SO confused. Turns out what he really wanted was a nanny for his two young kids to travel with him and his wife back to India. I was so pissed he wasted my time.
当时我在申请一份行政助理的工作，那人一直问我喜不喜欢小孩、护照有没有过期等问题。我很困惑。最后发现他的真实目的是想给他的两个小孩招个保姆，陪他们全家一起回印度。纯属浪费时间，气死了。
administrative assistant: 行政助理
pissed: 恼火的，非常生气的
以上内容来自开言英语电台节目《潘吉Jenny》告诉你。
